Monday, August 23, 2010

Luke Hike

To properly tell my weekend story you must understand two diabolically opposing things about my husband:
1. He has a map built into this head. No really. Like 97% of the time he can be in a strange place and not only navigate around but do so in such a proficient way you would think he grew up there. He takes one quick glance at a map and has every twist and turn of the street memorized. Very helpful most of the time.
2. He has absolutely no innate concept of distance.

My story starts four years ago when Luke and I were dating. We both enjoyed nature walks. Yes it sounds like a kindergarten field trip. We (OK I) don't like to hike hard core with backpacks, special shoes, food, or bug spray. We like to take 1-2 hour nature walks on new and fun trails.

Four years ago it was a really really hot summer. Like way too hot to be nature walking. We went anyway because- well- there was shade, it was early morning, and we would only be gone an hour. Armed with Luke's internal map we set out.

Seven hours later and about twelve very hot sticky miles later we were home. My feet were bleeding, my eyes were bleary, I lost no less than 763 pounds from sweating so much, and I couldn't decide if I was grumpy or content at my day.

You see due to Luke's lack of distance understanding a tiny side trail "shortcut" on his mental map turned into the longest long cut imaginable. We ended up walking over 5 miles on a busy street home. In 100 degree weather. With no food or water. But we had great conversation between my death threats. I may have known I would marry him that day. Or I was delirious and mixed up marriage with never speaking to him again.

I have spent the last four years of my life going on "Luke Hikes". Even when I looked like this:
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I love my husband. I tolerate his hikes. I thought having a baby was a great excuse to not take Luke Hikes. I was mistaken.

Fast forward to Miss S's 10 month-day last weekend. I was at a conference in the morning and Luke and Miss S met me afterwards. My conference was at a local college with gorgeous grounds and an out of this world botanical garden. We decided to walk up to the botanical garden.

Now according to Luke's map the gardens were up a pretty big hill but only about half a mile. Since I was in flip flops, nice jeans/cute top, the baby had no sunscreen and we were sporting the Bugaboo I thought that half a mile was reasonable.

So we set off. It was nap time and we crossed our fingers that Miss S would be lulled to sleep in the smooth ride on the sidewalk up to the garden.

We began the climb up past the football stadium. Luke assured me we were almost there.

We walked another 10 minutes and the sidewalk ceased to exist. Luke assured me we were almost there. At this point I was feeling very suspicious and asked Luke if we was SURE that we were almost there. Luke assured me we were almost there.

We passed the sign to the entrance of a state park. We were pushing the Bugaboo through rocky gravel on the side of the major highway. At least there was a barrier. Luke assured me that botanical paradise was just around the next bend.

Four bends later I lost it. We were not almost there. I had walked nearly 2 miles straight uphill with the baby (who was not napping) on the side of the road in flip flops.

We kept going. Why you ask? Well it was still better to get there, get water, nap the baby in the Ergo I discovered we had, and hopefully track down a quick snack.

We did eventually make it. The gardens were amazing. Luke remembered that we not only had the Ergo but we did have sunscreen for the baby. Two crisis averted (though still knowing we had them earlier would have been better). Luke napped the baby. I wished we had a real camera.
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The best part of the hike down was that it was downhill. Yes it was meant to be a nature walk but in fact ended up being a "Luke Hike".
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Happy 10 months to Miss S! She has now survived the first of many "Daddy Hikes". I will still try to get her out on nature walks to show her that a weekend walking trip does not have to nearly kill you.

We finished off the night with a baby who threw up in the car and margaritas. It was an amazing margarita.
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1 comment:

  1. it appears you are doing very well with your "wants" keep it coming!

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